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Al Neri

Sammie Joes

Y'know... something really bugs me about critisism. If it's about my artowk, and how to improve it, usually I'm all up for it. I want my artwork to be great.
But when I take a quick photo of myself to show off a new collar I bought and send it to a friend, I don't want to hear an editors review on it.
I mean when a friend takes a look at a quick snap, is it acceptable to just be critical of everything? I took a picture to show off the lace of my collar. Not because my make-up is perfect (and it never is purposely. I love smeared makeup and black all over my lashes). It's not because I want you to say 'Oh hey, your hair color is faded and lame. You should buy more bottles of red and re-dye your hair'. And it's not because I want you to point out my lipstick color doesn't suit my cheekbones or whatever. But honestly, when a friend says 'You look like a Scary Dyke' and expects you to just go along.. no.
Sure, she may be angry. But, y'know, I never take photos of myself for a reason. And when I do, it's not so I can get critisized for not meeting your laws of perfection. And what's worse is that I made a comment and she thought I was a lesbian. We've known each other for years. She knows, KNOWS, that if I am to ever be with someone, it has to be a man. I'm a hotdog girl. I like hairy chests and the junk. And I'll always be that way. So why the fuck did she say that?
Just yesterday she was telling me how she hates it when people insult others to make themselves feel better.
So, what the fuck was that?

It's really knawing at me. And, out of all of this, she didn't even notice my collar. She didn't even mention it. It really doesn't make me feel like talking to her a lot anymore. If she's bitter that I found friends here, you know what, whatever. I'm not going to spend my life waiting online for her to come on everyday like some lapdog. I want a life. I'm 80% not likely to come back. Y'know. Now I'm still irritated. And I ironically drew something nice in this state. Brrrgh.

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Nine Inch Nails

May 2008

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